My Story | Abuser Behind the Badge (Part 2)

October, 2019 - Real Estate Team!

Thank you for taking the time to read Part 1 of my story. Though I am not proud of the first part of the story it is a part of my story. I left off stating I had started a new job in Real Estate and by October 2019, I was thriving at this point in my career, in my life. It was great so this is where signs started to escalate. 

Breast Cancer 5K, Knoxville 2019

Breast Cancer awareness is a huge part of my life. It’s October 2019 and I was an avid runner at this point. I had signed up for the Breast Cancer 5K in Knoxville, TN (about 2 hours from where I lived) and my best friend came up to see me and be a part of the journey! She was going to spend the entire weekend with me. I was excited. I was excited to introduce her to the guy I was seeing (abuser). She got in on Friday and was with me until Sunday. Saturday was the 5K so we were going to make the best of the weekend. Friday night we got dressed, got drinks, and off to the guys house I was seeing. It was a literal blast. We had drank, we had partied, we had danced, until we realized it was 1 a.m. and highly intoxicated and I had to be on the line by 8 a.m. in Knoxville the next morning. 

Needless to say, we woke up late, but we still loaded up in my car and off to Knoxville we went. I figured why not, let’s go and see the runners coming in and celebrate the survivors. The 3 of us did just that, and then we explored. On the way back, he took us on back roads and showed us some of the prettiest places in Kentucky. That’s when he stopped and got a case of beer (11 a.m.).. My best friend and I both looked at each other. Nonetheless, the day went on. We decided to get a hotel room that night, because we wanted to go to haunted houses and just have fun. That’s when things got odd and I truly started to notice who he was. We get checked in the hotel. My best friend and I started getting ready for the night and he was still drinking, by this time it was around 7 p.m.. He said he was going to go to the store and grab more beer. Keep in mind he bought 12 at 11 a.m. and he bought another 12 around 7 p.m.. He had one of his fellow firefighters meet us with his girlfriend and we all piled into her car and off we went. Keep in mind, at this point we had all been drinking (exception of the woman driving). I had made the comment in the back seat with him to please slow down drinking. This started the first fight. We got to the haunted house and he was fuming. He was mad that I mentioned his drinking habit. The night went on and he was quite distant. (note: I’m highly terrified of clowns so this haunted house thing was not for me). I latched on to my best friend as we were going through. We were both jumping and laughing. He had grabbed me at one point and said he was there to protect me to stop going to her so much. The smell of alcohol was a lot and I told him “okay, but can you please slow down on the alcohol - you’re drunk”. He, at that point, compared me to his ex-wife, and said I was too controlling. He was silent the whole ride back to the hotel. My best friend and I were exhausted and immediately upon getting in the hotel I was out like a light. He decided he wasn’t done drinking and went to the hotel bar. I can’t tell you what time he got back to the room, but I knew he had shift the next day and I had to get him back to town to get to work. When I tell you I woke up at 5 a.m. to get him up - the smell of alcohol smelt like we were in a brewery. He ended up going in late that day. 

My best friend was going to head home that day and she warned me - “Alicia, he reminds me of your mom. Please be careful”. 

In my head, I needed to end it there. There were a lot of hurtful things stated during this time by him to me. While he was on shift he apologized constantly. He never lets himself get that drunk and that he would never ever do it again. He reminded me of all the fun we had throughout the day. I thought in my head he’s right. It was a one off. Maybe he will get sober, but let me say this, this was just the start. 

Before I continue with my story - here’s some background. I was still highly grieving my mom during this. The 1 year anniversary of my moms death was the week all of this went down and in my head it was my grief talking. I kept telling myself I could save him. I couldn’t save my mom, but I could save him. I was determined. He needed help and I was going to get him help.

Part 3